I Am Not What Happened to Me

I am not what happened to me 

I am not the way that I was weak

 

I am not the useless that I felt 

I am not someone who just gets left

 

I am not the tears that left my eyes

I am more than all the times I cried 

 

I am not the crutches that I always used to forget 

I am not all of the things that I now regret

 

I am not all the nights that I crumbled in the shower

I am not the nights I fell to my knees because I had lost all of my power 

 

I am not all of the secrets that I once kept

I am not all of nights that I once wept 

 

I am not the emptiness that was left 

I am not the pain that I’ll never forget 

 

I am not all the songs that I couldn’t listen to

I am not all the fun that I had to refuse 

 

I am not the dates that I forced myself to go on

I am not the times that I could only be alone 

 

I am not the empty bottles that were left on the counter 

I am not the evil thoughts that used to surround her 

 

I am not all the nights that I used to go out 

Hoping to find something to cover my doubt

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I am not all the times that I was accused 

I am not all the times that I felt abused

 

I am not the nights that I was scared to be alone

And late at night I was not all the numbers that would call my phone 

 

I am not the trust issues that developed 

I am not the type that gets jealous 

 

I am not the times that I felt worthless

I am so much more than what’s on the surface 

 

I am not someone who can’t step on a scale

I am not someone who starves herself until she goes pale

 

I am not someone who is afraid of the mirror

I am not someone who feels inferior

 

I am not all of the nights that were filled with dread

I am not all of the demons that I constantly would fight inside my head 

 

I am not the cloud of depression that used to cover me 

I am not someone that is wrecked by anxiety 

 

I am not somebody’s second choice

I am not someone who has no voice

 

I am not someone who deserved to be lied to

I am not someone you can leave and run back to

 

I am not someone who can be controlled

I am not someone who is afraid to be bold

 

I am not the dead flowers that you left behind

I am not someone who is supposed to be defined

 

I am not the empty promises that you gave

I am not someone who should have ever felt like a slave

 

I am not someone who shouldn’t be able to dream

I am not someone who should be screamed at when you need to blow off steam

 

I am not someone who should come second to alcohol

I am not someone who should be blocked when just trying to call

 

I am not someone who should be pressured into anything 

I am not someone who should have ever felt that sting

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I have not been abandoned 

He just wasn’t the one 

 

I am not rejection 

I just made the wrong selection 

 

They say Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

And it burned so deep when he gave me the cold shoulder

 

It’s crazy in the beginning how well he appealed

But I’ll never forget how it felt when the truth was revealed 

 

I am not someone who is easily fooled

So the fact that it happened seems so cruel

 

I may have hit rock bottom

But I have not been forgotten

 

My body is more than just a body 

It is a gift that I will give to the right somebody

 

I may not have felt that in the past

But now I will cherish it at last

 

I didn’t believe the lies that were said

But they always seemed to stick inside my head

 

I didn’t deserve to be broken apart

But I promise i won’t let it harden my heart

 

I am not someone who can no longer trust men

Because one day I will be able to love again

 

I am not someone who is emotionally unavailable 

I am someone who is fully capable 

 

I may have lost myself along the way

But thank God every morning brings a new day

 

I may have once been a victim

But from this will come victory

 

I know that healing is a process

so I need to stop feeling like any less

 

Just like anything else it takes time

And today is not the bottom line

 

I may be hurting 

But I am still worthy

 

I am a prize to be won

I am a daughter of the one true son

 

I will not settle for what’s not best 

And in this my heart can finally rest

 

I am not what happened to me 

I am just becoming who I’m meant to be.