It’s been a year since the breakup. It has been the hardest year of your life; no doubt. You have experienced feelings that you never thought you would have to feel in your lifetime. It caught you off guard. It broke your heart. It broke your heart and it seemed like it almost shattered you. But maybe you aren’t shattered at all. Maybe, just maybe, this was going to change the course of your life entirely. Maybe this was the only way that you can become all that you were meant to be. Maybe you were going places in life that he wasn’t going. Maybe you couldn’t take him with you. The Lord always has and always will place people into your life when you need them the most. With that being said, He will also remove them when necessary. You must trust the process, babe. You will get through this and become stronger than ever before. You have already come so far, and I am SO proud of you.
I remember so clearly you dropping to your knees because the thought of the whole thing made you feel so weak. I remember you hysterically crying in the shower because you didn’t want everyone to hear you falling apart. I remember you becoming nauseous and hyperventilating because you had never felt so much emotional pain all at once. I remember the physical pain that was just as real as the emotional pain. I remember how many songs that you would have to skip because they cut you too deep. I remember how lost you felt. I remember how loud the sound of your heart breaking was. He was gone, just like that. He was no longer yours. He was no longer your person. You let your guard down for him more than you ever thought you could for anyone. But don’t beat yourself up about it. You can’t get that time back, but don’t you dare count it as lost. It wasn’t wasted. You are so much better of a person now, and I hope you see it. You have grown so much. You learned how to love, how not to love, how to be patient, how to be in a healthy relationship, and you learned what you deserve. You now know exactly what you deserve and what you shouldn’t settle for. You are a diamond in a world of coal. You are different. You have been set apart. He won’t find another you. But someone else will get to experience your greatness and all that you are.
You should hope the best for him, though. He was a huge part of your life at one point, and that’ll never change. You loved him. At one point you saw a future with him, and I’m sure a part of you will always love and care about him. You should hope that he finds happiness and true joy that only comes from the Lord. Pray for him. Wish him well. You should always wish him well. You had amazing memories together, and no one will ever be able to take that away from you. Your relationship was beautiful at times. He was your best friend, your confidant, your backbone. So it’s okay to mourn it and to hurt. He will miss you, and you will miss him. But you should be thankful, no matter how bad the hurt was. You both have been set free. Now, you can go and be all that you were intended to be. I know it was heartbreaking and it hurt like hell, but everything will become beautiful in its time. And at the end of the day, when it’s all said and done, all will be well. You will get past it and deal with all the dirt, and you will grow tremendously. I know you loved him. He was your first love. But think about it. Instead of holding yourself hostage to the past, consider these things. Was it really love?
Love is patient. Were you two always patient with one another? Love is kind. You were not always kind to each other. We have all said things that we wish we could take back. Love does not envy. Did either of you ever get jealous? Was there complete and total trust? Love does not boast. Did you ever feel like there was competition or was someone keeping score in your relationship? Love is not proud. Was pride ever an issue? Love does not dishonor others. Would you consider your relationship to have been honorable in every aspect? Love is not self-seeking. Often, you were more selfish than you should have been in your relationship; learn from that. Next time around, be more concerned with the other person. Truly take a look in the mirror, dig deep, and figure out what you need to change next time around.
This relationship would have stood in the way of your dreams. But that’s something you have learned from this. Life won’t always go the way that you expected it to. People aren’t always going to treat you the way that you treat them, and that’s just the way it is. People will surprise you. People who promised that they would never hurt you, will. People who promised they would never leave, will. As discouraging as this realization can be, just remember that these situations happen for a purpose. They are purposeful. No matter how dark this time may seem, your light is coming. Your joy is still within you, for no one can take that from you. Happiness is fleeting, but you will find it again. You will find someone who deserves all of you and what you have to offer. Love is not easily angered. Love keeps no record of wrongs. You both should be focusing on what the other person does right, instead of dwelling on all of their shortcomings. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. The future is never certain, but it has been made clear that you two weren’t meant to weather the storm together. Love never fails. Your relationship failed, so even though it was love, you have to accept that it wasn’t the love of your life. If your love for him broke you, then your love for yourself can heal you. All of this almost tore you apart, but it didn’t. You are much too strong for that. Flowers grow back, even after they are stepped on. So will you.
