Disclaimer: Trigger alert!
I’m not going to say I know how you feel. If you’ve struggled with a mental illness, then you know how false and disheartening that statement can be. But I will say I know how you may have felt at times. I’m sure we have shared many of the same symptoms. I’m sure we have felt some of the same heart-wrenching emotions. I’m sure we all know how it feels to have to wake up every morning and fight the same demons that we left the night before. I’m sure we have all spent nights sobbing for no explainable reason. I’m sure we have all felt like we had a fifty pound weight resting on our chest. Most importantly, I’m sure we have all experienced feeling worthless, purposeless, and lost.
When I googled “mental illness”, what I found was quite interesting. The first words I noticed were: confidential, problem, stigma, “can’t be prayed away”, shame, silence, and secrets. This told me everything that I needed to know about how mental illness is viewed in the U.S. It’s time that we break the stigma. It’s not a joke. It shouldn’t have to be a secret. Those who are struggling should be able to speak openly about it with their loved ones.
When we have something wrong with us “physically”, we usually aren’t afraid to mention it to others. But if we have something wrong with us “mentally”, it’s completely taboo. This will never make sense to me. The brain is the root of your physical health. It controls all of your body’s processes. With this being the case, why would we not take mental health seriously? Mental health is physical health. Wait, I’m going to say this louder for the people in the back. MENTAL HEALTH IS PHYSICAL HEALTH!!
I feel like it’s something people will never truly understand until they go through it. I didn’t understand at all. It blew my mind that people could be sad every single day. It blew my mind that people could be anxious every single day. It blew my mind that people could look in the mirror and see something completely different from reality. This was until it happened to me. I’ve struggled with a depression/anxiety diagnoses for awhile now, and it has brought many other issues with it. But I have found healing in my pain. I realized that it’s not something you can control, and it doesn’t discriminate. Most of the time, it’s the people you would least expect. If you weren’t around me every single day, you would have had no idea how bad I was struggling. And even if you were around me, you still may not have known. So many people struggle alone, because they are ashamed to ask for help.
“I cannot tell you what will happen, but I can tell you it will be different when the light pours in.”
~Morgan Harper Nichols
Like many of you, I would cry every day, multiple times a day. I would wait until I got in the shower to truly fall apart, so others didn’t see me. I was ashamed that I had to seek professional help. I would feel so embarrassed when people asked me what the medication was that I was taking with my meal. I would force myself to smile or laugh when I was around my friends, because I didn’t want to bring them down. I felt like a prisoner to my own mind. I couldn’t escape the harsh, heartbreaking thoughts that constantly flooded my mind. I know what it’s like to feel like you’re drowning, while watching everyone else breathe.
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:”
Ecclesiastes 3:1
You know what they say: “this too shall pass”.
Well, it’s true. You may struggle with a mental illness for years, but it doesn’t always have to be terrible. Some seasons will be harder than others. You CAN & you WILL get better. I promise. I encourage you to speak up. Talk to your loved ones. Find someone who will listen. You’ll be surprised how many people are secretly struggling with the same thing.
Educate people. Let them in. The only way that we can change this is by being open about it. Your bravery and vulnerability will inspire people.
Lastly, I want you to know I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you for continuing to fight & for not throwing in the towel. Your life is so extremely precious to me, to those who love you, and most importantly to the Lord. Your time is coming. Keep fighting the good fight. If you want someone to listen, or to hear more about how I have walked through healing, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
“There is always a glimmer in those who have been through the dark.”
~Atticus
Find the beauty in your pain. Take time to reflect on how far you’ve come. Celebrate your progress. Any forward movement is progress, no matter how small. How beautiful is it that after all you’ve been through, you’re still standing? You’re still living. Be proud of that. With that being said, don’t forget to give yourself grace on the days that aren’t so glorious. You’re doing the best you can.
To those who have never struggled with a mental illness, think before you speak. Take the time to hear someone out. Don’t assume. It’s not fair to mock a pain that you have never had to endure. Be on the lookout for the signs. If you know someone who is struggling, ask them how you can help them. Every journey is different. You have no idea where someone is in their battle. They could be so close to ending it, and you reaching out could save them. Be the voice for those who are too afraid to speak for themselves. We can beat this. TOGETHER.
xoxo,
Brooke
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